My Version of Eat Pray Love i.e. Eat Drink Eat

I can't believe I haven't really posted anything about my trip to Italy. After so much build up you'd think I'd have a lot to say about it but I just got distracted by so much other stuff when I got home that it just didn't happen.

There's too much to document it all here but I thought I'd list some of the highlights:

- Climbing up to the top of the Duomo and seeing the incredible views from the top

- Meeting one of my sister's local friends who, when learning I was her sister replied

"Seeester? Ah yes, I see it, same as beautiful."

- Eating gelato at least once a day

- Eating an entire pizza in approximately 11 minutes after a day of touring Rome (with

mushrooms, sausage and onions, in case you're wondering)

- My sister and I forcing ourselves to finish a half liter of red wine eventhough we were full and

drunk and then somehow finding room for gelato

- Having a picnic in the Boboli Gardens behind the Piti Palace

- Getting an Italian haircut from a hairdresser who turned out to be a Yugoslavian named Bob

- Going to a bar that looked like an Irish pub, where the employees looked Goth and they played

Reggae music

- Creating makeshift pirate costumes for Halloween from stuff we found at the 99 Euro cent

store

- Hearing the couple behind me in the customs line at the airport arguing about where to go to

get to the official the fastest, it sounded something like this:

Wife: "Get ovah there, Morris, get in that line!"

Husband: "Where do you want me to go- they all go to the same place!"

Wife: "For God's sake, Morris, move ya feet, all these people are getting ahead of us"

Husband: "Will you shut ya mouth, I'm movin as fast as I can, Jesus Christmas."

- Waiting for my car service to pick me up and seeing, through the sea of black sedans, a long

white limosine pull up in the distance and knowing, deep down, that it was my ride and then, in

fact, seeing a sign on it's dashboard with my name in all caps

All in all, a great trip.

Queenpin

I had another outing with my "Little Sister" today. We went bowling. I totally dominated, won every game, but I got her cheese fries and Pepsi so she was happy.

Ciao Bella

I feel like my blog has arrived. My most recent post (before this one) was read via someone's cell phone on a street corner in Italy at 2:30 in the morning and elicited laughter loud enough to warrent an Italian woman opening her little bedroom window and yelling that she would like to go to sleep and could we please shut up.

Teach Them Well and Let Them Lead the Way

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my little sister. Not my biological sister but my "match" through Big Brothers/Big Sisters, I'll call her T. We have been matched since early this summer and I always get a kick out of hanging out with her.

We went to a farm where they had hayrides, pumpkin picking, a corn maze, a petting zoo and pony (well actually it was more like a Clydesdale) rides. We, of course, partook in all they had to offer. I think there is a mutual understanding between adults who don't have children of their own and the children they spend time with that the kid will have no shame in asking for (or at least hinting at) things they want and the adult will have no self control in dispensing money or treats to the child.

I don't know if T doesn't get junk food very often or is she is an addict but either way, when she's with me we can't pass a food/beverage purveying establishment without a swivel of her head and a comment such as "Ooh, they have Fanta," or "mmm, I sure do love some cinnamon sugar covered soft pretzel sticks dipped in caramel sauce."

Whatever it is we, of course, stop to get some. My justification is that I give her the money so she can conduct the transaction and figure out what bills she needs to use- I'm teaching her, it's all for the sake of the future.

Yesterday it was hot dogs and popcorn and apple cider and caramel apples. Although in this case, I totally lapped her on the caramel apple. She was still nibbling the peanuts and I had hit core and she stopped and said "You sure are hungry."
It wasn't so much hunger as that I have it down to a science, which took years.

Sometimes she actually buys things for herself, which I love because that means she is going to bust out her purse, which has a lovely bedazzled key chain clipped to the outside and also contains the following:

- Another key chain, with no keys on it
- A cell phone (she is nine)
- A Nintendo DS and multiple games, which she usually tries to show me while I'm driving
- Assorted candy
- A small bottle of bubbles
- An assortment of crumpled dollar bills

I've been trying to think of what to get her when I go on vacation next week- I'm starting to think some Kinder oughta do it.

Next Customer, Please

So I went to Whole Foods yesterday to get some soup and my total came to $5.27. Uncharacteristically, I had cash on me, and even more unusual, I had exact change. I handed the money to the cashier and he said "Perfect." Without realizing it was coming out of my mouth I said in a low voice kind of in the back of my throat, "That's how I do it."

"What?!" I thought to myself. Where did that come from? I typically don't engage in too much banter with cashiers and service providers, since I figure they just want to keep things moving until they can count out their drawer and go home. They don't need more people making the same jokes, asking the same questions.

Like when I went to rent a car recently and when they said "we'll bring your Toyota Camry right around." I had to fight the urge to reply "What, no Porsche?" I was so glad I did since about 30 seconds later I heard one of the Enterprise guys on the phone, totally fake laughing saying "aha, I don't think the Corvette is available today, sir, but we'll have the Taurus washed and waxed for you."

They probably get that joke once an hour- but I wonder if they've ever put someone in a full-size sedan and heard the customer remark, almost to themselves, "that's how I do it."

What Seems to be the Problem, Officer?

The other night I had a dream that I was wheeling my suitcase down the sidewalk (not sure where I was going) and a cop on a navy blue Big Wheel with reflective stickers and flashing lights rode up behind me and "pulled me over." It was an adult man, riding a Big Wheel, wearing a helmet and I was worried about what I'd done wrong.



I would love to have that one analyzed.

I don't wear much jewelry and I almost never wear any type of ring. So I'm always confused when I'm out with my friends and I get asked if I'm married. Married?! It happens more than you'd expect and definitely more than is appropriate. I don't have an issue with marriage and it's not like I wouldn't like to be married someday but the number of factors indicating non-married status way outnumber any factors that would say "yeah, she's legally committed." No wedding ring, no engagement ring- not even one of the Irish ones your turn around after a few good dates. No husband or children in tow and, when I'm asked this, it is usually when I'm out with a group of equally single, jewel-free girls.

So, with all of these factors pointing to single and a disproportionate number of inquiries about whether I have hyphenated surname, I started to wonder- what could it that is saying "married" to people?

Do I look like already decided to let myself go? Do I give off the vibe that I'd rather be painting a living room or shopping for sconces? Did I unwittingly purchase and wear mom jeans?

I don't know the answer- although that time I forgot my fannie pack when I went out to the bar I did see a drop in questions about my marital status...