It was really nice out this afternoon so naturally, people were engaged in outdoor activities. In the course of my day I saw lots of people running and quite a few people on bikes. Some of the bike things struck me as funny and/or a little odd.

1) In Hoboken, a guy was dressed in shiny, clingy silver shorts and top with a really large silver helmet and rode his bike up onto a sidewalk right near where I was in my car at a red light. There was no incline on the sidewalk at all, however he tried to do a little hop like he was going up a ramp. My window was open and I had to restrain myself from yelling "Sweet Wheelie!"

2) Driving down Upper Mountain road in Montclair I saw three teenage boys riding bikes- nothing unusual there. Then I realized that two of them were on a tandem bike- that's gay even for a mature homosexual couple to do, I can't imaging how secure these two must be in themselves and their friendship.

3) I saw a woman riding her bike down another Hoboken street with her long hair flowing around her face looking like it might obscure her vision and wearing dressy black pants and a black blazer. She may be trying to be green, she might be trying to save money, but I like to think she was really trying look good for the aforementioned silver bullet so they could become a couple that pops wheelies and shops for monochromatic outfits together.

Life Lesson #2,573

I had (what I consider) a major life experience last night. For the first time that I am aware of, I got cheated, hoodwinked, taken for a ride, swindled- by a cab driver.

I went to have dinner with my dad at the Ritz Carlton in Battery Park and he, being a good dad, didn't want me to take the subway when I left. He wanted to give me money for a cab. He handed me a twenty dollar bill and five singles. Then he said, "wait, I want to use the singles to tip the doorman." So I gave the singles back and he gave me a five dollar bill and I put it in my pocket with the other bill.

I got in a cab and when we arrived, the meter said $14.50 so I reached into my pocket and pulled out the two bills, put the five back in my pocket and handed the other bill to the driver. I gathered my bags and then the drive said "Excuse me, miss?" He was holding up a one dollar bill with an inquisitive look on his face.

"Oh, wait, let me, uh..." I floundered, confused. I checked my pocket and took the other bill out of my pocket- it was a five.

"Crap," I thought. "I must have given Dad the twenty back when we exchanged the ones for the five."

"I don't have any other cash on me, I'll have to pay with a card."

"No," he replied. "I already set the meter for cash."

"What? You really can't take a card even if I don't have cash?"

"No, I can't, oh man. How much do you have?"

"Um," I wasn't thinking at that point, I was flustered and tired so I didn't question him. "I have nine dollars."

"Ok," he said. "Just give me what you have, not your fault, don't worry about it."

"Ok, I'm so sorry about that."

I gave him the rest of the money I had and walked away.

Then I called my dad and had the following conversation:

"I can't believe this, I gave you back the twenty dollar bill by accident when I gave you back the ones."

"You did?" he said.

"Yeah, I thought I handed the driver a twenty but I actually gave him a one and then he couldn't take a card so he just took whatever money I had..." My voice trailed off as I realized what I was saying.

"I only had one twenty on me and I don't have it anymore- and I have those five ones in my pocket."

"Son of a bitch, I've been had!"

"Yes, yes I think you have."

"Eh, at least it wasn't my money."

Pretty Nice Little Saturday

1) I have been taking the NJ transit bus into the city for my improv class on Saturdays. I had literally no cash on me today so I thought I'd go to the ATM across the street from the stop and then go to the CVS and get change so I wouldn't have to pay the driver with a twenty. As I walked up to the ATM the bus pulled up. I knew I'd miss that one but there is usually another like five minutes behind it. Then the second bus pulled up right behind the first before I had a chance to get any money.

2) I was late to improv class.

3) Class is three hours long so at the halfway point we take a break. When I went into the bathroom I saw that I had almost an entire flake of Special K resting delicately on the collar of my sweater. It had most likely been there since I'd eaten breakfast two and half hours before, and had definitely been there through the three scenes I'd done in front of my whole class.

4) On my way home I saw a small truck with lettering (like official, not a cutesy bumper sticker) across the rear windshield and bumper that said "Caution: Working Border Collies On Board." I made myself laugh thinking of the owner of the truck telling someone "I'm warning you, Sir, if you don't cease and desist, they will herd you ."

5) I got home and continued reading the third book in the "Twilight" series, embarrassed for myself for compulsively reading these poorly written books, but not letting that stop me.

6) Right now I need to be getting ready to go out to dinner and then back to the city for a show but instead I am eating an entire bag of popcorn one kernel at a time and writing on my blog.

I Won't Be Writing a Book Any Time Soon

I'm reading a book right now called "The Wisdom of Crowds" by James Surowiecki, which argues that a group is collectively more intelligent than the most intelligent individual in the group. It is an interesting theory and has reminded me of some of the theories I've come up with in my life such as:


- If you tell 20-something guys that you take kick boxing class and have always wanted to actually try out the moves you've learned, most will immediately invite you to punch them in the face or stomach

- The more attractive and non-awkward someone was throughout their adolescence, the less original and interesting their personality is when they grow up...this one may be flawed, though, because if it were totally true I would be much cooler now than I am

- If you're in a large group of people between the ages of 17 and 30 and you randomly shout "To the windooooowww," at least 50% of them will respond with "To the wall!" without any other prompting-there's a good chance they'll go even further into the lyrics, depending on the setting

Perhaps my theories aren't as thought provoking or well-supported by empirical research as that book, but I dare you to test them out tell me they don't work.

Kids Say (And Think) The Darndest Things...

My roommate was telling a story today about when she was little and her older brothers and some other kids were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. When they asked her the question, she replied that she would like to be a shovel.

We later talked about birthdays and I said how difficult it was for me when I young to grasp the idea that my sister's birthday came before mine every year, even though I was older. I can remember sassily saying to my mom "I guess I'll just be the younger sister then if you're always going to celebrate her birthday first!"

This got me thinking about how skewed your perceptions of things can be when you're a child, from the passage of time to the personification of inanimate objects. I then remembered another misconception I had when I was younger- what it would be like to be drunk.

When I was about twelve years old I was home by myself one day and decided I wanted to find out what it would be like to get drunk. I proceeded to pour about a shot and a half of vodka into a glass of Pepsi (then added water to the bottle of vodka so that no one would ever know some was missing) and chugged it down.

I had this fantastic image of what it would be like once the alcohol took effect- basically it was similar to the Home Alone montage when Kevin realizes he made his family disappear and runs around his house waving his arms and jumping on beds. I saw myself tearing through the house, breaking stuff, throwing things, overturning furniture, all the while laughing hysterically with disregard for consequences. I braced myself for the beginning of my rampage, sitting on the couch, concentrating on any changes I might feel.

After half an hour I just felt really warm and was pretty disappointed with the whole thing. I decided to stick with things I knew I would definitely enjoyed and opened a package of Rainbow Chips Deluxe cookies and sat down to watch Maury Povich.

Though I am still baffled almost daily by the passage of time, I now know that being drunk is really only fun with equally drunk companions. And if you're wondering, I have yet to experience a destructive, drunken frenzy (but I still have hope), and my roommate eventually resigned herself to being a speech therapist, though I have caught her staring wistfully at garden tools from time to time.

Bad Blogger

I have been a bad blogger lately. I have had lots of ideas but haven't been able to make myself sit down and write anything. Maybe if I write down some of the topics I want to cover it will help me come back and elaborate on them later. So here are a few of them:

- I have determined that I am very quick to judge people and form opinions, but I've also realized that I'm usually right. I want to discuss some occurrences of this

- I went on two dates with a guy and then decided I didn't like him and told him I couldn't see him anymore, he then proceeded to clean off my car in the morning every time it snowed. I was torn between telling him to stop and leading him on just enough to keep that perk going

- I had my little sister over to bake brownies and do crafts and had to hold myself back from snapping at her when she spewed completely nonsensical strings of words in an attempt to relay a simple story...but then we ate brownies and everything was fine

We'll see if I actually get around to saying more about any of these. Probably won't but at least now they're out of my head.

Happily Ever After

I love hearing the stories of how couples met and got together. I think it reassures me that it could happen anywhere, at any time, under any circumstances- comforting for someone who hasn’t met “the one” yet.

I was thinking about how people I know met and that’s when it hit me- my parents are totally Jim and Pam- or at least the Jim and Pam of the late seventies. There are many similarities and just a few variations. They met in a small office in suburban Pennsylvania that sold phone systems, rather than paper, and my dad was the one who was engaged when my mom started working there. My dad was the smart-ass but bright, prankster salesman (he once made pot brownies and brought them in for the office, but only told my mom about the secret ingredient). My mom worked in an administrative role and had a sassy side, though she was more of a party girl than Pam, known to tear up a dance floor or two, still does actually.

They were good friends, but my mom knew she felt more than that and at some level my dad did too. In fact at one of their company holiday parties, his then fiancé accused him of seeing my mom behind her back, even though nothing had happened between them at that point. It didn’t take one of them moving away, though, for my dad to realize he wasn’t with the right person.

They started dating pretty much as soon as he broke off his engagement and were engaged within six weeks. They have been unbelievably happily married ever since. I don’t know if that’s what the writers have in the cards for Jim and Pam, but it’s certainly what everyone deserves.