All I Want For Christmas...

What does it say about my life that I told my mom that all I want for Christmas is a membership to weight watchers and various cosmetic procedures?

She responded by asking what color and size Uggs to get me.

We Can't Let This Bank Fail!

This is a cause near and dear to my company, please offer any support you can.

More than 35 million Americans, including 12 million children, either live with or are on the verge of hunger. In New Jersey alone, an estimated 250,000 new clients will be seeking sustenance this year from the state's food banks. But recently, as requests for food assistance have risen, food donations are on the decline, leaving food bank shelves almost empty and hungry families waiting for something to eat.
The situation is dire, no more so than at the Community FoodBank of New Jersey (CFBNJ), the largest food bank in the state, where requests for food have gone up 30 percent, but donations are down by 25 percent. Warehouse shelves that are typically stocked with food are bare and supplies have gotten so low that, for the first time in its 25 year history, the food bank is developing a rationing mechanism.
As the state's key distributor of food to local banks – serving more than 500,000 people a year and providing assistance to nearly 1,700 non-profits in the state – the stability of replenishment of the CFBNJ is essential to ensuring that individuals in need have access to food.
If everyone could just do a little, it would help those in need a lot. To help, people can:

-Make a monetary contribution: Visit http://www.njfoodbank.org/.

-Donate food: Drop off a bag of food at your local food pantry. Click here to find a food pantry

near you: http://www.sefan.org/.

- Organize a food drive: We can help explain the logistics of starting a food drive. Just call 908-

355-FOOD.

- Help "Check Out Hunger:" Look for the "Check Out Hunger" coupons at your local

supermarket and donate. No donation is too small!

Doing a little bit can make a big difference!

You See How It All Evens Out For Me?

My roommate is going on a date to night with someone she was set up with and hasn't met in person yet. Needless to say she's a little nervous. How do I offer my support as a friend? I tell her not to worry, it's a win-win situation; if it goes well, great, if it is disaster it will be hilarious fodder for my blog. I'm Even Steven!

Update- Phlegm-y Neighbor

So I think he actually puked this morning.

You Think It's Funny But It Snot

When you live in an apartment building, it's kind of inevitable that you're going to have some interesting neighbors. Some people have the neighbor who cooks funky-smelling food, some people have the porn star neighbor they can hear at night (or morning, or mid-afternoon) through their bedroom wall. I have the neighbor who hocks loogies every morning like it's going out of style.

I don't know if he is a heavy smoker, has a super-sensitive gag reflex or just produces an excess of sputum but every morning I'd swear he leaves a piece of lung in the sink.

It's almost become part of my morning routine to hear him. We get ready for work at the same time. I go in and start brushing my teeth and sure enough, by the time I've gotten to my molars, there it is- UUGHHGHLLUUHH! I wait- did he actually start to vomit this time? No, not quite. I continue brushing then; wait for it, wait for it- UUUGGHGHGHLLUUGHGH, he really get's ahold of it that time, really starting to make some progress.

Now you may wonder, if I can hear everything so clearly, don't I worry that they can hear me? Not really. I mean I'm sure they can but I have nothing to hide. But some days I am definitely tempted to cheer him on or do color commentary like "he's going deep for this, it's up, and it's green!"