Friday, August 21, 2009

Mazel Tov!

A week ago today I was in Pittsburgh helping my best friend from highschool, Beth get ready for her wedding. I've reached that age where all my friends get married and pretty soon I'll reach that age where they all start having babies. While I'm not there myself (my dad observed that I actually flinched away from the bouquet when it was thrown to the single ladies), I do take an immense amount of joy in these major milestones for my friends.

This wedding ceremony took place in the gorgeous Heinz Chapel on the University of Pittsburgh campus. The only drawback of a summer wedding in such an old building is the lack of air conditioning. At one point I thought I might actually pass out when I stood up to do a reading but I yelled at myself to get it together, took a deep breath and was fine.

Since the groom was Jewish they had some of those cool traditions like stomping the glass. I think shouting "Mazel Tov!" after he did that was my favorite part of the ceremony since, honestly, how often do you get to shout in church?

They also did the thing where they lift the bride and groom up on chairs at the reception. That as so fun and I was able to capture some of it on video.

I was so glad that my parents could come, since they've known Beth since we were both super awkward freshmen in high school.

I actually alluded to that in my toast at the reception. We didn't like each other the first day of school, she thought I was snobby and I thought she was weird. By the third day, though, it was like we'd both just accepted that despite our differences, we were destined to be great friends.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful

I flew to Pittsburgh this past weekend for one of my best friend's weddings (more on that later) and had a few interesting travel experience that I thought were worth sharing.

1) At the Philadelphia airport I was in line for security and in my 7am daze was glancing at everyone around me. My gaze landed on one of the uniformed security personnel, mostly because he was young and handsome, which is a departure from the ornery middle aged women you often see checking IDs and boarding passes in Philly. We briefly made eye contact and then I went back to staring straight ahead. Next thing I knew, he was right in my face, glaring saying "You eyeballing me?" My eyes bugged out and I choked out a "what?" and he said again, "You eyeballing me?!" My mouth hung open and I just stared- and then he laughed good naturedly like it was a great joke and walked away. I was pretty awake after that.

2) Dustin "Screech" Diamond was in front of me in line going through security in Pittsburgh. He was not flying first class and he did not look good.

3) I had a shuttle service pick me up from the hotel to take me back to the airport and was told they would arrive at 3:10. I was climbing into the van at 3:11 (there was a bank across the street with a digital sign, so I know that was definitely the time) and there were already a couple of people in there. I sat next to an old woman with long, stringy grey/blonde hair wearing what looked like a black and yellow plaid caftan with a vest over it. We didn't interact at all through the beginning of the trip and I put my headphones on and listened to my iPod.

When we pulled up to the next hotel and the driver got out to let the new passengers in. The woman looked toward me and said something I couldn't hear except for "20 minutes."

I took out one earbud, "Excuse me?" I said, not sure if she was talking to me or just talking to talk.

"Looks like we won't have to wait here for 20 minutes like we did for you," she spat out.

There was a time in my life when I would have flushed red and stammered out an apology and felt uncomfortable for the rest of the ride. I don't know when the change in me occurred but this time, in this situation, I looked her in the eye and said quietly and calmly that I had been told I was being picked up at 3:10 and that is when I was there and that I was sorry if she had to wait but it was neither my fault nor my problem.

Then I turned away from her and replaced my earbud. She responded by putting on her own headphones and we stayed on our opposite ends of the bench seat for the rest of the trip. I spent the remainder of the ride thinking up come backs for the venom I was sure she was going to spit at me when she exited the van but alas, none came.

I was almost disappointed because I really wanted to say one of the things I'd thought of. I pictured her getting out of the car, turning around and saying something along the lines of "go to hell," or "I hope your plane crashes." To which I'd reply "Send me a post card from obscurity."

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Before I became a (pseudo) grown up, I spent a number of summers working at a coffee shop at the shore called Coffee.Comedy. In case the name doesn't give it away, it is a coffee shop, Internet cafe and comedy club in one. Is your mind blown yet?

Anyway, since I am down the shore again I told them I would help out sometimes if need be, which turned into two, sometimes three nights a week. As it happens, my sister is working there this summer as well and since she is away this week, I am filling in all her shifts. This has allowed me to see many a beach goer in all their morning glory, and today's 7:30am-1:30pm shift featured some of my favorite customer interactions so far this summer. They included:

- A very large man leaning farther than necessary over the counter to order his coffee, then looking at the selection of baked goods on the counter, saying, almost to himself "hmm, should go healthy today," then louder to me, "what's this, pound cake? I'll try one."

- An older, confused-looking man who asked me, "are there any internets available right now?"

- An aggressively jovial, effeminate man who was there with what appeared to be his wife. She approached the counter ahead of him, ordered the coffee and asked if we had honey to put in one of the lattes and I told her we did. He then bounded up beside her a few seconds later, practically hopping from one foot to the other saying "Do they have honey, honey? Honey, is there honey, honey?" to his wife.

Then to me before she had a chance to answer, "Any honey, do you have honey for my coffee?"

"Yes," his wife and I answered in unison.

"Oh, where is it? Where's the honey, honey?"

I replied slowly, enunciating each word, "It is over there, on a shelf" I said pointing. "And I will give it to you shortly, after I make your coffee."

He wife snickered, but he was unperturbed by my sass and skipped down to the end of the bar to wait.