Friday, June 26, 2009

I'm Awkward, I'm Awkward and Shy- A Tribute

Tonight was my last night living with my roommate Sara in Montclair. To commemorate this occasion, we went out for a few drinks at Tierney's, my favorite Montclair bar.

While there, we reminisced about the great times we've had living together, and also the poor decisions we've made during our time as dynamic duo; particularly in the arena of young men.

We started discussing how amazing it would be if the guys we regretted knowing were to show up tonight in a parade of our bad choices. This parade would include characters such as:

- Oscar, the bald-headed, over-eager guy posing as a buddy in order to gain trust

- Dr. Erik, the chiropractor living at home who specialized in mixed messages

- Dan, the reformed alcoholic who drinks coke at bars and travels to dance competitions throughout North Jersey

-Sam, AKA Pastor Sam, who introduced himself as a man of the cloth- yet another attempt to gain trust

- John*, who had this conversation confessing his affection for Sara:

John: "I really like you"
Sara: "That's nice"
John: "No really, I've had a crush on you for a really long time."
Sara: "Ok...Ali, can we go now?"

- Timmy G, The snow clearing master, hard to shake, yet convenient to keep arond in winter months

- Damian, Encountered at 30,000 feet but dropped due to his over-enthusiasm for intense work outs and tea

-Oakley, The a*hole to end all a*holes-'nuff said (if you know me well you know the story and no, I never heard from him again but I still hope to one day punch him in the face)

- Mike, the 30 year old vet's assistant, i.e. puppy nurse who could not read non-verbal cues, leading to the exclamation of this post's title

- Chris, random make-out from two years ago who was the only one in the parade who actually was there tonight, possibly fulfilling his destiny of marrying Sara one day

- Uncle Dougie, forty something sugar daddy who recently came into money and insisted on buying us "the most expensive shot the bar had to offer," whether it was something we wanted to drink or not

I am going to miss this place.

*name has been changed to protect identity

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Goodbye, Cupcake

If you know me, you know I have an intense, at times uncontrollable sweet tooth. So one of my favorite places in Montclair is Gimmee Jimmies Cookie Bar. It has been my go-to spot for a while now to get amazing cupcakes and cookies. The thing that made them so special is that every cupcake was different. They were all decorated with bright colors and designs like tic-tac-toe, smiley faces, flowers, anything the little staff of bakers came up with.

I went there a couple weeks ago and they were closed with a sign saying they were preparing for a grand re-opening with their new five star pastry chef, or something along those lines.

I finally went back last night with a friend, excited to see what fancy new stuff they had added to their line up. The shop itself looked a little different, but what struck me most was the difference in the cupcakes. No fun colors, no wacky designs, not a huge variety from what I could see. The cupcakes looked fancy, but they didn't look fun. They were also either really big or really small and some of them looked like they had whipped cream on them instead of frosting- not cool.

I couldn't hide my disappointment even a little bit, I couldn't help it, I created a totally uncomfortable situation for the person working behind the counter. I just looked at the dessert cases, distraught. My friend patted my head and talked to me like a distressed child, asking in soothing tones, "do you want a cookie instead? How about the red velvet, they still look good, how about that, hmm, what do you think?"

"No, it's not the same. They look so different. I guess I'll just have an M&M cookie." The woman working handed it to me with an apologetic look and guiltily took my money.

Gimmee Jimmy's, if you have Google Alerts and happen to see this, please, at least keep some of the fun stuff. Whenever I introduced people to your wonderful selection of treats, the beautiful, bright cupcakes with loads of icing were what they remembered and what got them excited to come back. Please, if not for me, do it for the kids- actually really for me, kids won't miss what they never had. I, however, love those GD cupcakes.

Monday, June 22, 2009


I haven't blogged in a while and I think part of the reason why is that I feel a little guilty about T-Bone. My last two posts were about her and didn't paint her in the best light, although they are written with affection.

Recently, I had to tell T-Bone's mom that I'm going to be moving and won't be able to keep taking her out after the month of June. I didn't think T-Bone would mind that much; I thought she would be a little disappointed that she would no longer be guaranteed french fries and ice cream bi-monthly but that that would be about it. I honestly didn't think our friendship was all that important to her.

Well, when I saw her mom after she'd broken the news to her, she let me know that T-Bone broke down and sobbed for about half an hour, asking her mom why she would tell her that when she'd been having a good day.

So, needless to say, I feel like an a-hole for using my interactions with her as blog fodder when clearly they meant something to her and she was getting something out of it. Even though she'll most likely never see this stuff, I still feel bad about it.

I'm going to try to make it up to her by doing whatever she wants the next (last) time I take her out. I'll let her eat anything she wants and I won't share the details.