Friday, June 26, 2009

I'm Awkward, I'm Awkward and Shy- A Tribute

Tonight was my last night living with my roommate Sara in Montclair. To commemorate this occasion, we went out for a few drinks at Tierney's, my favorite Montclair bar.

While there, we reminisced about the great times we've had living together, and also the poor decisions we've made during our time as dynamic duo; particularly in the arena of young men.

We started discussing how amazing it would be if the guys we regretted knowing were to show up tonight in a parade of our bad choices. This parade would include characters such as:

- Oscar, the bald-headed, over-eager guy posing as a buddy in order to gain trust

- Dr. Erik, the chiropractor living at home who specialized in mixed messages

- Dan, the reformed alcoholic who drinks coke at bars and travels to dance competitions throughout North Jersey

-Sam, AKA Pastor Sam, who introduced himself as a man of the cloth- yet another attempt to gain trust

- John*, who had this conversation confessing his affection for Sara:

John: "I really like you"
Sara: "That's nice"
John: "No really, I've had a crush on you for a really long time."
Sara: "Ok...Ali, can we go now?"

- Timmy G, The snow clearing master, hard to shake, yet convenient to keep arond in winter months

- Damian, Encountered at 30,000 feet but dropped due to his over-enthusiasm for intense work outs and tea

-Oakley, The a*hole to end all a*holes-'nuff said (if you know me well you know the story and no, I never heard from him again but I still hope to one day punch him in the face)

- Mike, the 30 year old vet's assistant, i.e. puppy nurse who could not read non-verbal cues, leading to the exclamation of this post's title

- Chris, random make-out from two years ago who was the only one in the parade who actually was there tonight, possibly fulfilling his destiny of marrying Sara one day

- Uncle Dougie, forty something sugar daddy who recently came into money and insisted on buying us "the most expensive shot the bar had to offer," whether it was something we wanted to drink or not

I am going to miss this place.

*name has been changed to protect identity

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